For those of you that inhabit a different part of the internet, you may not know about the following scandal. But it’s the only thing I’ve thought about and read about and listened to for the last week. I have been consumed and never happier. Even our fearless leader, Sir Andy Coen, is obsessed. It’s a Bravo scandal for the ages.
Image compliments of Deadline.com
The TLDR; is this - Tom Sandavol of Vanderpump Rules fame, cheated on his longtime girlfriend Ariana Madix with the Bambi-eyed bitch herself, Raquel Leviss. This has been happening for months. There are matching necklaces and dates in disguises. Scheana Shay *allegedly* punched Raquel (who we found out is actually a Rachel) in the face. Every day a new layer of drama unfolds. And what’s even better - cameras are back up, filming the drama, so that all of us Pumpheads can watch the fallout of Scandoval this season.
I’ve been a Bravo-obsessed girlie since before it was a cultural juggernaut. I watched it growing up when it showed artsy old movies. And I was there from the beginning of Project Runway and Top Chef. I’ve watched everything from Tabitha’s Salon Takeover to Workout. But my mainstay was and is The Housewives. I will watch them until my dying day. I was there from the moment Vicki Gunvalson rode in a family van. I was there from the dinner party from hell. I was there from Teresa’s table flip. I was there for it all.
Image compliments of Stacasm.com
When Vanderpump Rules premiered as a backdoor pilot from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I was ecstatic. Here was a show about people closer to my age. Instead of housewives, the cast was filled with waiters and bartenders at Lisa Vanderpump’s SUR (Sexy Unique Restaurant) restaurant. Yes - restaurant is said twice. The drama was intense. There were cheating scandals and drama about new people joining the team at SUR, all while the cast lived in shitty apartments that looked like mine. These were my peers, living out a crazy existence I couldn’t. They were partying as I did in college, even though they were supposedly adults.
Image compliments of SUR Restaurant and Lounge
When I was the age of the Vanderpump crew, I left South Bend and college behind for southern Vermont. I had no friends my own age living near me. There weren’t bars that had anyone remotely my age frequenting. My life was pretty boring. I just worked all the time to survive. But the Vanderpump crew was there to bring the drama. To make me feel a little better about myself. I was a mess, sure, but my best friend didn’t cheat on me with my boyfriend while her boyfriend slept in the next room. They were always worse off than me.
Me in my first apartment
I’ve followed them from shitty apartments and waitress jobs to reality star fame and actual houses. Much like my own life, we’ve grown up and gotten our shit together. But they still go out and take tequila shots, where I can barely drink a glass of wine without getting lit. My idea of a night out is heading over to Max’s with the girls for a gossip sesh, dinner, and maybe a little drink, not a trip to a nightclub complete with bottle service and shots. Once again, our lives have some crossover, but they’re still a mess and I’m all grown up.
So when Scandoval broke, I was riveted. I haven’t looked away from my phone in days. I’ve been scouring Instagram and Reddit for rumors that become true. And I’ve been happier than a bird with a french fry. After two seasons of the show where not much happened, the drama is back and I’m here for it.
Image compliments of Page Six
I feel like my loyalty is being rewarded. I was there when nothing happened. I still watched and listened to all the recap podcasts. I suffered through the Stassi and Beau era. But now, now it’s paid off. Now the real drama is back and I can’t wait. I’m watching the current season like a detective, searching for clues about the relationship, hoping I spot something.
I feel truly awful for Ariana. Sandoval is a real dick and pardon my french, royally fucked her over. No one deserves this kind of treatment. No one deserves this betrayal. But if it’s going to happen, at least it’s playing out on my tv screen.
Image compliments of The Daily Sentinal
#TeamAriana